I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
