i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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