did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
