Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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