My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
