Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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