o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize