did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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