So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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