So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
