So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
