? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
