I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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