he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You were trust falling into bushes
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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