Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
fuck your aforementioned shoe
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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