but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
