I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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