Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize