Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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