Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
