I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
