i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
