They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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