Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
