just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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