it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
