my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There r osticjed everywhere
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
