I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize