he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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