i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
