I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
