im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
