so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
