i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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