Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
