I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
