are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
