no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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