We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
