So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
