Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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