You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm jealous of your bromance
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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