Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
