Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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