I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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