Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
