She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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