Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
