Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
