...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
