Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
