This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
