Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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