From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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