i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Randomize
