oh god the rape fog is back!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
