Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
This house was built for laser tag.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
