is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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