One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
