Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
