Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Randomize
