I cockslap morals
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
